Purging

Tonight i had a random chat with a lady at the squash club about losing weight and exercise, i almost felt normal talking like normal people do about it all, except i was thinking differently to her, cos every now and again i would say something and she would go - uh what? and i would have to back track and cover it up!

Then tonight mum comes up and asks if we can postpone the bbq we were having for me and some friends cos its too hard with the girls being here!! WTF?!
Im not a child i can cook my own bbq !!

I purged after that - im losing my grip on normality. I heard mum and keith whispering about somehting and it was getting heated, i feel like i am causing problems with their happy family, so the sooner i get out the better!!

purging felt so good - as i vomited left over food, i vomited away all the guilt and shame i feel for not fitting in, i purged the lonlieness away until i felt empty in my tummy and not empty in my heart!!