Thinspiration

I sometimes wish i was pretty enough, thin enough, good enough to be someone's "thinspiration"

I know I prob shouldnt admit that or think it even cos it is pro ana but i do. I want to be that thin pretty girl that when you are browsing someone's thinspo folder you look at and think - wow she is so skinny and so beautiful
I then browse my folders and all i think is - who is this fat, disgusting ugly person that I call MYSELF
why cant i be beautiful too
why cant i be loved by someone too
Why cant i be thin too
Why cant i look as happy and gorgeous as those girls in the pictures too!