rationality getting less apparent.
The need to feel the release of the cold metal tearing apart a small inkling of my right arm eating away at my thoughts.
Scattered ideas, plans, thoughts of what to do next confusing my already overloaded, over active mind.
Vains pulsating with burning desire to escape.
Where do the thoughts stop and the reality begin, the line is blurred and it's getting harder to distinguish between right and wrong, real and fake, want and need.
how do I know what I want when I can't trust my own thoughts in my head, how can I believe I don't really want to do it when I can feel it in my body that I do.
Struggling to sleep and relax, heart pounding with what? Fear? Of myself or of the fact I want to hurt myself yet again, it's never ending. As the days get longer with lack of sleep the urges get stronger, more convincing, pulling my deeper into a twisted world of blood and physical pain and numbness ... What is it I desire most?
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