grateful of life altering advice

Just wanted to say thank you for yesterday, u gave me some advice which has been life saving (that may be a dramatic way to put it but it's true) 

I am still at my gf house where ya dropped me off, last time I was here (4 weeks ago) I left her house without any of my belongings as had no intention of returning. Yet here i am, and I'm feeling grateful that I slipped and fell instead of succeeding and be dead. 

This morning I have been drawing my mandalas and reflecting on what u said, and u are so right, what i tell myself about almost anything and everything 90% of the time, is so negative and unproductive, and no way to create a happy/healthy life. its no wonder i felt suicidal. 

I have always wanted a best friend and looked for it externally, but i think once I can change that inner narrative to be positive/optimistic/kind or less dark and negative at least then I'll actually want to be my own best friend