It's not hard to know what the difference is between what one has and what oine wants.
When it comes to a relationship, boyfriend, partner I know what I want and I know what I have.
I have a boyfriend who prefers to go solo than work with me, who has me around more as a NEED rather than a WANT. I'm the one who does his washing, cooks and cleans up after him, caters to his every day "babe can you <insert request here>" His family don't like me and his father once referred to me as "piece of sh*t from south auckland.." My boyfriend has his 'plan' for the next phase of his life and he sees me as a grievance on his path, I am the one who is holding him up and getting in the way.
He very rarely helps me with things I am interested in doing, he very rarely has anything nice to say - let alone whispered the words 'ILOVEYOU' I cannot recall a time when he has told me I am beautiful or amazing or anything postive at all, actyually he once told me I was good at something that was not a legal thing to be doing.
We have closed communication, don't talk about our hopes and dreams (or lack thereof) don't share in fun times or happy memories and most of our time is spent arguing, or with him bellittling, critising and/or lecturing me on how I should be,
Sometimes critisims, advice and evaluations of one's behaviours are a neccesssary line of communication but not EVERY day, and especially not if it is all one sided.
so now that I have exopressed what I have I need to share what I also want.
I want aomw locw, someone who offers to make me a cup of tea when I am upset or feeling unwell (not a comment on how i bought it on myself or it's mty own fault)
I want a hug when I am crying, and arm wrapped around me to spoon me as I sleep.
I want acceptance and freedin as I work on becoming that "better" person you constantly spoak of
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