My head is gonna explode!!

So Lowendo (the boy) txt me today asking how i am, hows my week been etc...
im so confused by him!! Why did he wait so long to get in touch?! Does he actually want me or does he just want sex ?? cos if he only wants sex - he's better think again!!

Work is gonna be manic until the 23rd, my boss goes on holiday so wil be doing a shit load of extra work!!!

Ibiza angels (the massage company i work part time for) emailed me and they arent happy with me only doing one shift, so have said i have to pick up another shift during the week or they will take me off their books!

I have already taken on all this extra work with the waitressing company so am busy as it is!
Working 6- midnight 2 nights a week with waitressing until xmas, plus my full time job! plus ibiza angels!! OMG!

My mum has to go for a biopsy on Monday - something came up in her mammogram!! :(
breast cancer runs in my family so am super worried!!!! Im trying not to worry until i need to but its hard not too! im so far away and feel like i should be doing somehting to help!! BUT WHAT??!!

ive finaly lost some weight - eaten 4 crackers every day for lunch (120 cals all up)
and had nothing for dinner most nights (had a hot choc and weight watchers choccie biscuit last night tho) and might have some soup tonight
Im not at that point where im so tired from lack of food, been having dizzy spells when i stand up and grumpy cos am so hungry but at the same time, i am loving waking up and feeling empty - feel so empowered again! like im saying a big FuckYou to fattness!!
I have a dress that shows off my back that i wanna wear for my work xmas party and as bad as this sounds, i want my bones to show in my back - that way i know im finally gettting somewhere!
Its so twisted - why do i wanna look like that?? why do i feel i need to lose this weight?? why cant i be happy the way i am??!
All i know is - i dont wanna be the fat one at the xmas party!!

Well thats all i guess... dunno who reads these things anymore since i write so much shit!!!