So im still in Brighton still feeling sick and now im feeling shitty about myself,
Im tired, im hungry, i feel sick and worthless and lonely and useless <--- all the normal stuff basically!!
I just feel like once again coming down here was a waste of time, today kelly and vaughan wanted to sort out their Europe travel for next summer. I just felt like i had been kicked in the guts, i come down here for a few days to hang out and whatever and they are too busy! What the hell did i come down here for? I can sit in my room and watch DVD's in London!
Nothing is what it used to be - Kelly just isnt the same any more. I just feel totally invisble now.
I joined onto Im not really sure why - cos its one of those pro anorexic websites, but i just feel like a total outsider on bebo - no one really talks to me. no one really cares!
Im not sure how i got to this feeling that i am now. The suicidal thoughts are constant in my mind - how to do it, when to do it, do i really want to do it,
I dont really want to kill myself do i?
I just get to a point where i feel i have no other choice, i feel so useless and like im taking too much space up on this world. No one really cares, no one would even notice - it would be a few days - maybe a week before someone realised - when i didnt talk to my sister ??? How sad is that!!
I really need to pull myself out of this mood, but im just not sure how!!
Wonder how much weight i have lost with only drinking tea for 2 days now??!!
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