Sex

Ive come to think that there is something actually wrong with me now when it comes to guys.
On the tour we went on, I was one of the only ones who didnt hook up with someone.
It makes me think, am i ever gonna be able to meet someone and feel like i want to sleep with them, cos i have no desire to have sex, i dont care.
I dont feel it is anything important but then i wonder am i missing anything, is there something wrong with me cos i feel that way towards it, or is it jus cos of what ive been through?
and then i wonder when will be ready to be intimate - what if i never want that - with anyone?
Is sex really that important ? do i really need it?
Why am i so affraid of this and feel so screwed up about this, its probably normal considering what ive been through... but how long is it going to last?
I used to be so carefree and fun when it comes to guys - i never really enjoyed sex, im not sure why, ive always felt like ive had to do it for the guy rather than myself, ever since my first time... but i dunno why.
And now i just hate it so much
I wonder if its obvious to guys that i havent had sex in over 3 years - well longer, considering the last time a guy touched me it was to hurt!
I am so embarrased that i am like this, and i wish like anything i could be normal when it comes to sex.