Tonight I physically cannot eat.
Tummy rumbles, wanting food. Head is spinning wanting control. Heart is pounding thinking of food. Hands are shaking needing fuel. Body is hurting inside and out.
Thoughts are racing - can't eat, can't win, can't lose, can't sleep, can't go into the kitchen, can't cry, can't stop crying... everything is all over the place. Nothing is in place. All control is lost and no control is found.
And I don't want to cut, so if I don't eat I won't cut. If I eat I will need to cut.
It's too late for food. It's too late for sanity. It's not too late to get thin. It's too late to die.
Tummy rumbles, wanting food. Head is spinning wanting control. Heart is pounding thinking of food. Hands are shaking needing fuel. Body is hurting inside and out.
Thoughts are racing - can't eat, can't win, can't lose, can't sleep, can't go into the kitchen, can't cry, can't stop crying... everything is all over the place. Nothing is in place. All control is lost and no control is found.
And I don't want to cut, so if I don't eat I won't cut. If I eat I will need to cut.
It's too late for food. It's too late for sanity. It's not too late to get thin. It's too late to die.
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