Drinking

The last couple of times i have been drinking i jus get really upset and end up hurting myself.

Last night i was round at Georginas house and had finished my bottle of wine - everything was going well until they started tlking about food then Rach started telling me that i had to eat otherwise i will die. I jus felt like i was being cornered. And it didnt help that i was drunk cos i jus got upset.

I dont think i should drink for a while. I jus get too upset - and then all i want to do is kill myself.

i jus feel so down sometimes - and for no reason. Usually when i get left on my own or like last night I told Kelly me and george are thinking of going to amsterdam for a weekend and she got on the computer and was telling me where she went and felt like she was takin over. Even tho i know she is only trying to help. I always feel so useless next to her.

I know i need to change - but i jus dont kno if i can !!