So ive been purging for a few weeks now. And not lost any weight. I am going insane... i am eating less but not losing anything!!
I had a melt down a couple fridays ago... had been drinking (of course) i was up in my room and crying and tried to hang myself with a belt but the belt broke and i failed!
So then i cut myself quite bad and it bled so much (prob cos of the alcohol too!)
then i went to bed and txt my sister who was downstairs. Jus said i could use a hug from her.
She came straight up and i told her bout trying to hang myself. She didnt know what to say and jus cried.
I felt worse. She said knew about me throwing up and doesnt know what to do. she wants to help but cant and cant undestand why i am doing this and said its like i enjoy feel sorry for myself and thats why i dont get better. like i dont want to.
That was 2 weeks ago. They went away for the weekend and i ate nothing for the rest of the weekend, and still lost no weight. :(
Went to amsterdam and ate - not alot but i ate. and i purged too.
Im not taking my anti depressants and already feel like crap and cry all the time!!
I dont really know where my head is at the mo. I am trying to be strong cos vaughan has been stressed out and i dont wanna cause problems.
I am feeling so useless and fat and like such a failure... its doing my head in!!
I had a melt down a couple fridays ago... had been drinking (of course) i was up in my room and crying and tried to hang myself with a belt but the belt broke and i failed!
So then i cut myself quite bad and it bled so much (prob cos of the alcohol too!)
then i went to bed and txt my sister who was downstairs. Jus said i could use a hug from her.
She came straight up and i told her bout trying to hang myself. She didnt know what to say and jus cried.
I felt worse. She said knew about me throwing up and doesnt know what to do. she wants to help but cant and cant undestand why i am doing this and said its like i enjoy feel sorry for myself and thats why i dont get better. like i dont want to.
That was 2 weeks ago. They went away for the weekend and i ate nothing for the rest of the weekend, and still lost no weight. :(
Went to amsterdam and ate - not alot but i ate. and i purged too.
Im not taking my anti depressants and already feel like crap and cry all the time!!
I dont really know where my head is at the mo. I am trying to be strong cos vaughan has been stressed out and i dont wanna cause problems.
I am feeling so useless and fat and like such a failure... its doing my head in!!
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