WHY?

whenever someone changes their plans with me i get upset and feel like they are doing it to hurt me! When i knwo they arent. But i just cant help feeling crap.

Last night mum and I were supposed to skype call but she couldnt get her camera working so we were gonna do it this morning at 9am. At 9.15 i txt her asking when we were gonna call and she said she would be home in 20 mins and we could do it then.
And that made me feel shit. I was angry cos she had mucked me around but at the same time i felt like she did it on purpose to make me feel bad.
Then my sister says "calm down" and laughs.
So then i think she is laughing at me cos i have got upset about it. and then i feel worse cos now 2 people are having a laugh at me. I DONT KNOW!

I feel like i know it should affect me like that. But it does and i cant help but turn something so small and not important into something massive that makes me upset. Why cant i jus shrug it off and go oh well. I always make it worse than it is so that i feel worse.

On Thursday Vaughan (my brother in law) came home stressed and him and kelly went upstairs to talk. I felt like i was in the way cos they were forced to go upstairs to get privacy. But i didnt have to eat my dinner cos there was no one around to make me.
So then Friday i got some stuff together before work cos i thought i should stay away for the night and give them some privacy and space and what not.
And my sister got grumpy with me saying its got nothing to do with me and i dont have to stay away. But Whatever were her words!
So i emailed her from work saying that i know its got nothing to do with me but it would be nicer if im not there.
So i ended up feeling bad cos i was trying to be nice.