Attention Seeking?

I'm not doing this for attention, I don't want you to look at me with that sad look on your face.
I don't know what I did it, I made a quick decision which at the time I was convinced was the right thing to do.
I did overdose to die, I had had enough. I felt alone and confused and scared of what I was thinking but I didn't think too much, I didn't take the time to really think about it. I got the idea stuck in my head that dieing WAS the ONLY thing I should do.

I feel worthless and like a waste of space every day. I put on a smile so that I don't worry people but Friday it all just got too much. I wanted everything to stop

I still don't know what I am thinking. I feel lost. Like I want to die but I don't want to kill myself. I don't want that put on me. I don't want to be blamed for feeling sad.
I don't want this to be my fault.

Is it my fault? Did I do this to myself? Am I doing this for attention?

How do I know if I am doing this for attention? I don't think that I am, maybe Jordan is right?
I don't want attention - I want to be normal. I keep trying to be better but not getting any where.
I'm gaining weight but not gaining life. How is that getting better?

I don't know what to think right now but it doesn't help that the people closest to me to be angry and annoyed with me!!!

I just want to be normal and OK but sometimes it's so hard!!!