I'm a selfish person, the C grade ladies won regionals today at squash, they are heading to nationals in September to represent Auckland and I didn't go up to celebrate with them cos I want to cry.
This year my big goal was to play super champs and go to regionals and nationals and breaking my stupid arm has ruined it.
Everyone keeps saying there's always next year but that isn't comforting in the slightest. Next year will be totally different, the girls will have moved up a grade while I get left behind, again.
Everyone is moving upwards and onwards and I'm just going side to side and backwards. When will I move forwards, upwards and onwards too.
I try to make goals and keep failing.
Feeling like one big fat failure of life.
And I don't want pity, I want a new life.
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