Tonight I discovered something new and scary and painful and a less messy way to release all those emotive feelings and thoughts... Burning.
I burned several places on my arm and hand by heating up glass and holding it to my skin.
It was painful and in those moments of pain I forgot how fat, worthless and guilty I felt, so I did it again and again and now my arm is hot and numb and my mind is racing with fear and excitement.
No blood, no stitches, no big messy unhealed scars... Just warm welts for now
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