Im so embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted in myself!
Today i had a massive binge on chocolate biscuits and chocolate and hot choc and more choc biscuits... I feel horrible.
I sat on the floor and cried then frantically exercised to rid myself of the filth!
I wanted to purge but my flat mates were home and im so paranoid im gonna get caught out!
Now i have a sugar headache and the voice is screaming at me!
I have to weigh myself this weekend - im gonna find a boots store or something that has a machine!! I am going insane - i am so scared i have put on a whole heap of weight and panicking about it! So i have to find some scales and either put my mind at rest or confirm my fears!!
Why am i craving sugar so bad - GET CONTROL AMY!!
Jeez how fat do i have to get before i finally take control of myself again!
Why did i think recovery was something i could do??
I cant even walk down the street without thinking about how fat and horrible i am - there are so many skinny girls in London its jus depressing...
Right- new goal
DETOX! Next week - is gonna be a detox week
fruit and vege only!! Please have some self control and stick too it this time fatso!!
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3 comments:
Yeah those damn skinny girls are everywhere I hate them, but then I love them and want to look just like them! Anyway you'll do better tomorrow. btw you look amazing, I would die to be ur 2009 pic! You are seriously one of my thinspirations now. Stay strong! Good luck on the detox.
sorry to hear that hun it happens to the best f us just pick yourself up and start again
Thanks hunnis. ive never been called someones thinspiration before - you made my day :)
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