Sunday

Ok. Yesterday went well, I had some soup for lunch.. and felt good bout it... for about 10minutes! But Kelly and I played scrabble so that distracted me :)
We went for a walk to the video shop and had a chat. Kelly said that she researched on the net the other night and was really worried and upset about the long term damage I may have done to myself. And she said that when she was vacumming this morning, she noticed ALOT of my hair on the floor in the lounge. Not just a little bit... ALOT!
She also said that she can see how easy it would be to fall into something like this cos sometimes when she eats infront of me she feels guilty for eating. Thats not good! Cos i feel bad for making her feel like that, i told her she shouldnt feel guilty cos she is helping me, she is the one person that is pushing me to do this and believes i can.

I'm sorta torn though, on one hand i don't want to give the eating disorder up, its hard to get to that healthy point where as its so easy to stay the way i am, being sick. But then on the other hand i know that i cant stay this way cos its not right. I jus feel like i could easily slip up and be back in the same mindset. It feels like it wouldn't take much. Something so small and simple.

So I've really got to try.
I felt ok after dinner. We had a roast and it was really yummy! I haven't had a roast in so long and i actually enjoyed it. I felt guilty and disgusting for a brief moment but watched a dvd and soon forgot all about it. :)

overall I would call that a good day!