I hate February

So last night I went to my friends place for some drinks, and i have been feeling really messed up latley so i knew i shouldnt drink and sure enough - drinking made all the feelings inside me come up and out 10x worse than i thought they were

It started when everyone was laughing and i didnt know what they were laughing at, so i automatically assumed they were laughing at me.
Then when we were outside having a ciggy, this girl was going on about how she didnt want to people think she was a snob at her college, cos of the way she talked -
I said to george "seriously - is that the worst thing in her life"
which then made me think and want to say how screwed up i felt, but i tried not too cos i didnt want to ruin Georginas night, but it happened anyway - she kept asking me was i ok, then i jus burst into tears, saying that i hated the way i was right now, and i miss home and wanted things to be diff
Then Georgie started cooking and i wanted to eat but felt like i couldnt in front of all those people!!
I ended up going home cos i was too drunk, too quickly!

When i got home, all i wanted to do was eat everything! i was so hungry and really wanted to eat so much, cos i knew i could purge easily cos i was drunk. and then i got upset cos i didnt want too but i did want too

Anyways i ended up drinking some water and crashing out in bed bout 1am!!

xx