There are words and numbers constantly buzzing around in your head and there is no escape from the quiet whisper of her. She is always there, she likes to trick you. You think you can escape and push her away but she doesn't really leave, she just goes silent, waiting patiently for you to show vulnerability and then she comes back with a vengeance. She wants you to think it's ok to leave her for a while, ana will leave and mia will be there to help. Mia is a lot nicer than ana - she lets you eat and let's you think it's ok to eat, so long as you dispose of it straight after - it's OK.
Ana doesn't like this at all, and as you push one away you hold on to the other but your tired of holding on - it's hard to hold on. You know what you are doing is so wrong and that's what makes it all the more harder to stop. You have no one to blame but yourself. There are skills to be learnt and things to distract yet you always come back to the thing you can trust. She won't let you down. She won't let you be.
You want to be free but you don't really know what freedom is - freedom is the little bird that sits on the window sill and then when someone walks in the room it flies away. The little bird that watches and waits for something yet it doesn't really know what it's waiting for then all of a sudden someone comes and disturbs the silence and it's frightened so it flies.
It's a humming inside of you, something desperate for something else. Thinness has a feeling all of its own and when you have been eating and purging for 2 weeks the hum gets louder until you give in, anything to quieten the humming thinness and then the voice starts. There is no winner. Not even the little bird who finally gets peace flying all over the country on it's lonesome, there is no winner.
Ana doesn't like this at all, and as you push one away you hold on to the other but your tired of holding on - it's hard to hold on. You know what you are doing is so wrong and that's what makes it all the more harder to stop. You have no one to blame but yourself. There are skills to be learnt and things to distract yet you always come back to the thing you can trust. She won't let you down. She won't let you be.
You want to be free but you don't really know what freedom is - freedom is the little bird that sits on the window sill and then when someone walks in the room it flies away. The little bird that watches and waits for something yet it doesn't really know what it's waiting for then all of a sudden someone comes and disturbs the silence and it's frightened so it flies.
It's a humming inside of you, something desperate for something else. Thinness has a feeling all of its own and when you have been eating and purging for 2 weeks the hum gets louder until you give in, anything to quieten the humming thinness and then the voice starts. There is no winner. Not even the little bird who finally gets peace flying all over the country on it's lonesome, there is no winner.
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