So yesterday I had an appointment with a doctor at the auckland eating disorders association...
he weighed me, took blood pressure and asked me a million questions about my eating...
I tried to be honest - it was hard. I felt like i wasnt skinny enough, sick enough to be there.
There was a skinny girl in the waiting room and i felt so silly being there. SO fat
I have to have an ECG tomorrow as I have a heart murmur.
But he said apart from the blood test and ECG he is ok with the support i am getting, he said there won't be need for more appointments.
I kinda felt even fatter and sillier.
Like I'm not good enough/thin enough/sick enough for real help.
He said that he thinks if i continue with seeing maree and melodie and slowly work on other things (self harming and the rape) that the ed will just get better itself. That to me sounds really odd. I don't know if that's possible. How will the ED thoughts/behaviors/patterns just go away. they have never gone away - the times when i have been going well and eating ok - i have still had all the thoughts and behaviors so how will the ED get better on its own!?!?!
When will I be thin?
he weighed me, took blood pressure and asked me a million questions about my eating...
I tried to be honest - it was hard. I felt like i wasnt skinny enough, sick enough to be there.
There was a skinny girl in the waiting room and i felt so silly being there. SO fat
I have to have an ECG tomorrow as I have a heart murmur.
But he said apart from the blood test and ECG he is ok with the support i am getting, he said there won't be need for more appointments.
I kinda felt even fatter and sillier.
Like I'm not good enough/thin enough/sick enough for real help.
He said that he thinks if i continue with seeing maree and melodie and slowly work on other things (self harming and the rape) that the ed will just get better itself. That to me sounds really odd. I don't know if that's possible. How will the ED thoughts/behaviors/patterns just go away. they have never gone away - the times when i have been going well and eating ok - i have still had all the thoughts and behaviors so how will the ED get better on its own!?!?!
When will I be thin?
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