Therapy session
So tonight was an interesting session. I have self harmed 4 out of 6 and e said that I need to see the slippery slope I'm on only leads to me ending up in hospital from a. An overdose or b. from self harming so bad that I'd need stitches. She said i don't achieve anything from sled harming and yes it makes me feel good short term but what about long term. I tried to tell her that I can't see long term and I can't care about long term I just need to feel good right now. I tried to tell her that I don't know what else to do other than self harm and all she could say wasabi can understand that. I just wanted to scream YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
She said she is going to make me do things I don't want to do but if I want to get better then I will do it.
I want to get better but don't know how to do it.
This is do hard and she wants to help and I want her to help but telling me to do something doesn't give me the tools to do it. This is not easy.
I told her my suicide urges are high and that I'm self harming to stop me from killing myself. Maybe I am destined to kill myself? Maybe hospital is on the cards? I dont know but I'm scared of myself :/
I am being as honest as I can be with this lady but it's frustratin when her response is.... I understand that this is hard. Bullfuckingshit
So tonight was an interesting session. I have self harmed 4 out of 6 and e said that I need to see the slippery slope I'm on only leads to me ending up in hospital from a. An overdose or b. from self harming so bad that I'd need stitches. She said i don't achieve anything from sled harming and yes it makes me feel good short term but what about long term. I tried to tell her that I can't see long term and I can't care about long term I just need to feel good right now. I tried to tell her that I don't know what else to do other than self harm and all she could say wasabi can understand that. I just wanted to scream YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
She said she is going to make me do things I don't want to do but if I want to get better then I will do it.
I want to get better but don't know how to do it.
This is do hard and she wants to help and I want her to help but telling me to do something doesn't give me the tools to do it. This is not easy.
I told her my suicide urges are high and that I'm self harming to stop me from killing myself. Maybe I am destined to kill myself? Maybe hospital is on the cards? I dont know but I'm scared of myself :/
I am being as honest as I can be with this lady but it's frustratin when her response is.... I understand that this is hard. Bullfuckingshit
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