Abbey - whom i met while travelling is just lovely.
I spent today with her and she too has had an eating disorder, for about a year when she was 16. But she is so free and happy from all of that now. she said that she still knows calories and watches what she eats but she doesnt let it control her which i think is just amazing.
I hope one day i can be like that.
I wonder what it would be like not to worry about the fat/calorie content. Not to want to purge all my dinner or when i go running imagine all the fat burning off me and just exercise for the health of it!
She said she really wants to help me and she said that she got better cos she couldnt stand what she was putting her family through, she wanted to be attractive again to guys...
I can understand that, but i wont ever be attractive to anyone, let alone guys. And my family - well most of them dont know what im going through, sure i feel guilty that im hurting my mum but as long as im alive she will be happy!!
The suicidal thoughts have been better today ... i think ive been enjoying my time with abbey. I dont want to say much more on that subject though cos i dont want to jinx myself and ruin my head space!!
I spent today with her and she too has had an eating disorder, for about a year when she was 16. But she is so free and happy from all of that now. she said that she still knows calories and watches what she eats but she doesnt let it control her which i think is just amazing.
I hope one day i can be like that.
I wonder what it would be like not to worry about the fat/calorie content. Not to want to purge all my dinner or when i go running imagine all the fat burning off me and just exercise for the health of it!
She said she really wants to help me and she said that she got better cos she couldnt stand what she was putting her family through, she wanted to be attractive again to guys...
I can understand that, but i wont ever be attractive to anyone, let alone guys. And my family - well most of them dont know what im going through, sure i feel guilty that im hurting my mum but as long as im alive she will be happy!!
The suicidal thoughts have been better today ... i think ive been enjoying my time with abbey. I dont want to say much more on that subject though cos i dont want to jinx myself and ruin my head space!!
No comments:
Post a Comment