Chocolate tastes so good - i forgot how yummy it actually was because I havent eaten it so long
I have eaten chocolate every day for the last few days
I looked at it first and then i heard "Its ok, you're on holiday" I thought to myself "how badly do i want this"
but all i could hear was that reasoning telling me its ok to eat the stupid chocolate and now ive eaten it for the last 4 days and I feel disgusting and fat and horrible for it.
And all i can hear now is laughter coming from inside my head - laughter aimed AT me, cos i am a stupid worthless failed anorexic....
she is reminding me why i cant be free cos i am too useless to eat normally
I cant eat normally cos there is no normal, what is normal? Who determines what is normal?
Normal for me is NOT EATING or eating very miniamal to keep my weight at under 50kgs
I cannot do anything else, i dont want to try.
Its me and you ana - you wanted me to listen to you and i did, i listened when you allowed me to eat some chocolate and i am listening now when you are telling me I AM FAT and that is cos of the chocolate
Lesson learnt
I have eaten chocolate every day for the last few days
I looked at it first and then i heard "Its ok, you're on holiday" I thought to myself "how badly do i want this"
but all i could hear was that reasoning telling me its ok to eat the stupid chocolate and now ive eaten it for the last 4 days and I feel disgusting and fat and horrible for it.
And all i can hear now is laughter coming from inside my head - laughter aimed AT me, cos i am a stupid worthless failed anorexic....
she is reminding me why i cant be free cos i am too useless to eat normally
I cant eat normally cos there is no normal, what is normal? Who determines what is normal?
Normal for me is NOT EATING or eating very miniamal to keep my weight at under 50kgs
I cannot do anything else, i dont want to try.
Its me and you ana - you wanted me to listen to you and i did, i listened when you allowed me to eat some chocolate and i am listening now when you are telling me I AM FAT and that is cos of the chocolate
Lesson learnt
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