I think I know why I've been feeling so suicidal and self harming so much, I dont know if this is true or not or if im just trying to make sense of everything going on in my head.
But
with Maree and mum and everyone so concerned about this eating disorder, when I am self harming and thinking different thoughts (suicidal thoughts) it almost feels like i dont have an eating disorder and they have nothing to worry about. Cos the last few nights i havent gone to bed wondering what i weigh or thinking about what i've eaten, simply cos i'm so wrapped up in what my life is actually worth.
I dont know if that makes any sense.
But the self harm and suicidal thoughts feels like a change from the eating disorder thoughts that have been so consuming for the last few months!!
But
with Maree and mum and everyone so concerned about this eating disorder, when I am self harming and thinking different thoughts (suicidal thoughts) it almost feels like i dont have an eating disorder and they have nothing to worry about. Cos the last few nights i havent gone to bed wondering what i weigh or thinking about what i've eaten, simply cos i'm so wrapped up in what my life is actually worth.
I dont know if that makes any sense.
But the self harm and suicidal thoughts feels like a change from the eating disorder thoughts that have been so consuming for the last few months!!
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