I have survived the weekend
I didn't self harm. There were times when I wanted to more than anything, when I felt so desperate and lost and alone and self harming would have taken that all away - that urge is still there but I am fighting it with everything I have left.
I don't want another trip to the hospital or another band aid to hide another open wound. I don't want another scar and another disappointed look from Mum.
I want to fight this. I want to be normal. I am trying to be normal and not over react to these scary emotions and thoughts that are taking over my body.
The funeral is tomorrow. I am scared.
They want me to say something but I wouldn't know what to say.
My emotions are all over the place at the moment, I cry and then laugh and I am scared of them all but I am just trying to get through each period of the day.
Get through the morning, then the afternoon, then the evening and then get some sleep and do it all again the next day.
The funeral is tomorrow :'(
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