S/H post

It's like crying without tears
It's anger without screaming
It's fear without running 
But it's also joy with no smile


Addictive as it is  - I cannot give it up.


A new day brings a new cut, a new scar to hide, a new embarrassment to never show and tell. 
A new lie to cover the truth and deeper into the black hole I go
A new truth in my head and another justification to myself to get me through the day


There is something inside me yet i am empty through and through - there is a void and I'm not sure what is missing or what it is I need

I hate myself so much
I feel worthless and disgusting 


and wonder sometimes..... what it is I am still doing here