Sweden

I have just come back from a weekend away in Sweden.
on the Saturday night, we were out and about and on our way home and the girls wanted to stop for some burger king, i instinctively said NO but as they sat there eating there fatty burgers with probably all my daily calories in one burger, my tummy rumbled and i longed to have the courage to actually order a burger then sit down and be able to eat it.

I did feel all powerful after we left though, I wondered how they were feeling, if they even cared how many calories, carbs and fat they had just consumed in 30 minutes. did they know that the meal they just ate was probably going to consqueuntially make them gain 1 pound. Did they care if they did gain that pound. How could they not.
And that was pretty much my thoughts on the taxi ride back to the hostel.

And as I lay in bed - my tummy empty, my head twisted by the thoughts of me being in control of my food and my anorexia - I felt good. I wasnt going to gain a pound in my sleep. I wasnt going to wake up feeling fat and full wishing I hadnt eaten. I felt good.