My dad is so confusing....
growing up he was around and was good to me. Although he would compare me to my brother and i never felt good enough for him he was still there for me
Then when he and mum split up and i moved out then moved back with mum, he told me "you've taken your side" and then would come into my work and tel me i am a slut like my mother, and berate me and abuse me making me feel worthless and unloved.
He didnt come to my 21st or leaving party, didnt contact me on my bday and only spoke to me twice while i was away - at christmas time when i was at my sisters and we HAD to speak.
I come home and see him once, then out of the blue he invites me over for lunch and i meet his niece and her daughter and hear about uncles i didnt know i had!
He tells me it was good to see me and i look good.....
Even now he has chatted to me on facebook and we are making plans for another lunch in 2 weeks time...
its odd
Does he love me know? or is just being nice cos i am his daughter?
I think he doesnt know what he wants. He prob feels he has too. I know he wanted me to be a boy - he already had 2 daughters what did he want with another one - a stupid uselss one at that. i got into trouble, i wasnt smart at school, not good enough at squash.
When will i ever be good enough???
growing up he was around and was good to me. Although he would compare me to my brother and i never felt good enough for him he was still there for me
Then when he and mum split up and i moved out then moved back with mum, he told me "you've taken your side" and then would come into my work and tel me i am a slut like my mother, and berate me and abuse me making me feel worthless and unloved.
He didnt come to my 21st or leaving party, didnt contact me on my bday and only spoke to me twice while i was away - at christmas time when i was at my sisters and we HAD to speak.
I come home and see him once, then out of the blue he invites me over for lunch and i meet his niece and her daughter and hear about uncles i didnt know i had!
He tells me it was good to see me and i look good.....
Even now he has chatted to me on facebook and we are making plans for another lunch in 2 weeks time...
its odd
Does he love me know? or is just being nice cos i am his daughter?
I think he doesnt know what he wants. He prob feels he has too. I know he wanted me to be a boy - he already had 2 daughters what did he want with another one - a stupid uselss one at that. i got into trouble, i wasnt smart at school, not good enough at squash.
When will i ever be good enough???
No comments:
Post a Comment