Thoughts

So i been sitting here thinking about things as i always do when i feel fat and disgusting. And i came to the realisation that i'm one of those people that could disappear of the face of the earth and only a small handful of people would actually notice i'm gone.
I would become that phrase "yeah i once knew an Amy, tragic how she died"
All of my "friends" back in New Zealand, my best friends any friends. They don't miss me, they don't even notice i'm gone.

Today at work, i was having left overs for lunch and Kelly (one of the temps) commented how she could never eat big meals, she always had to eat smaller portions. I didn't think i was eating that much, but of course i couldn't eat anymore after that.
Now everyone that i work with has seen how much food i eat and what a fat disgusting pig I am. GREAT!!!

I'm such a loser! Such a waste of space all i do is cry and cause pain. Sometimes i just feel like everyone would be better off without me.
I don't think i could ever actually kill myself but sometimes its nice to have that option.